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The following is a list of words and phrases that are guaranteed to make you sound like a brain dead corporate puppet:
Convergence,
Symbiotic,
Take it Offline,
Stakeholder,
Synergistic,
Paradigm,
Take Ownership,
COB,
Brain Dump,
Deliverables,
Brain Fart,
Feature Creep,
KPI,
Touch Base,
Mind Share,
Moving Forward,
Best Practice,
Show Stopper,
Keep Me In The Loop,
Scope Creep,
Target Market,
Demographic.
I have heard all of these and many more in meetings and presentations by "Sales Engineers" (what a contradiction in terms!), executives and ladder climbing wannabees and I think it's safe to say that the minute you hear any of these terms you can roll your eyes back into your head and start day dreaming - safe in the knowledge that you're not going to learn anything from that particular drone.
You have forgotten all the corporate warm and fuzzies... which make you want to poke yourself in the eye with a sharp stick.
ReplyDeleteLike Keep it above the line, whats your 50%...blergghh
I was sent on a 2 week drivel aka training course which was similar to a positive parenting program except for the workplace...I wish I had a shirt that told the world I survived it.
Look, at the end of the day, so long as we're on the same page and give 110%, we should be able to fast track our way to hitting a home run.
ReplyDeleteIf you think outside the box, and bring your best to the table, it's a win/win situation.
Ellie,
ReplyDeleteThose are both new to me. Thanks for bringing me up to speed.
Mothership,
Thanks for that. At least now everyone knows what I have to put up with at home.