What The F#$k is The "Innernet"?

I find myself wondering why Americans are incapable of saying the word "internet". They seem to think that the "T" is silent and it's pronounced "innernet". It really shits me.

Having said that, it seems us Australians are trying to eradicate the letter "L" from our lexicon. Can you remember the last time any of our news readers (or anyone at all) last said the word "world" properly? Apparently it's now pronounced "worwd".

You can actually get dumber just by watching TV.

The people have spoken and it's fuck you "T" and get lost "L".

Words and Phrases Guaranteed To Make Your Boss Think You Are Smart And Your Technical People Rightly Think You Know Next To Nothing...

The following is a list of words and phrases that are guaranteed to make you sound like a brain dead corporate puppet:

Convergence,
Symbiotic,
Take it Offline,
Stakeholder,
Synergistic,
Paradigm,
Take Ownership,
COB,
Brain Dump,
Deliverables,
Brain Fart,
Feature Creep,
KPI,
Touch Base,
Mind Share,
Moving Forward,
Best Practice,
Show Stopper,
Keep Me In The Loop,
Scope Creep,
Target Market,
Demographic.

I have heard all of these and many more in meetings and presentations by "Sales Engineers" (what a contradiction in terms!), executives and ladder climbing wannabees and I think it's safe to say that the minute you hear any of these terms you can roll your eyes back into your head and start day dreaming - safe in the knowledge that you're not going to learn anything from that particular drone.

Kylie Minogue Made My Baby Daughter Cry

While channel surfing this morning I had the misfortune of stumbling onto a video clip of one of Kylie Minogues vast back catalog of mediocrity. Almost immediately my daughter started to wail like a banshee!

Was it the high pitched nasal monotone?

Was it the embarrassingly limited vocal range?

Was it the fact she was dressed like a whore?

Was it the really, really simple lyrics?

Perhaps it was the obvious cosmetic surgery meaning her face doesn't move properly anymore.


It just shows that my lovely little six month old girl has inherited her fathers taste in music.

Edit: Judge Superbonus says.... GUILTY of crimes against my ears.

Judge Superbonus Says..

Channel Nine - your lightweight approach to news, current affairs and checkbook/investigative journalism is embarrassing and pathetic.

You are a shadow of your former self and Kerry Packer would be turning in his grave.

One only has to watch your rugby league coverage and hear Ray Warren rabbiting on about CSI or hear Fatty Vautin trying to cross promote another of your dodgy programs to understand why your ratings are sliding like a greasy fat person on a hill made of glass.


Channel Nine; on the charge of being crap - I find you guilty!


You're just lucky channel ten is worse.

Next case please.

Senior Sargeant Superbonus' Answer to Gangland Violence

This one really is a no brainer and I'm surprised, no shocked, that the police forces of the nation haven't figured it out.

Cast your mind back a few years when the gangs of Moran and Williams were going head to head murdering each other tit for tat. The police were actually trying to stop them?!

The solution?

Do nothing.

Do nothing until there is only one bad dude left and then either arrest him or shoot him. Bingo! Problem solved.

Next case please.